I'm lost: please take me home with you
by MaidenOfInsanity
Summary: This is my first fic so be mean, be very mean!!!


Disclaimer: I don't own Outlaw Star so don't sue me unless you really want my ten dollars in lunch money.  
  
Author Note: I've tried to summarize events as much as possible. Please send me reviews, this is my first fic. Flames welcome. (I think they're hilarious and the more profanity the better.) And if you happen to see my bestest friendy, Maiden of Twilight, give her a big hug, but when you're done run away, before she tries to hit you. Otay?  
  
Melfina sat on the couch looking through her clothes, cutting off the tags, and folding them neatly. She gave the receipt to Jim, for doing the bill, and checked the bottom of the bag for anything she might have missed. There, nestling modestly at the bottom of the bag was a small book with a lock and a key taped to it. She went to the kitchen where Jim was and asked, holding up the book, "Whose is this?"  
  
"It's yours, have you ever had one before?"  
  
"No, what is it?"  
  
"It's a diary, to write your thoughts in. I thought you might like it."  
  
"Oh, thank you," she said as she walked back to her room. As she closed the door behind her she thought, "So you write thoughts in this thing, well, then it should be like a friend, so I will give it a name." She searched her mind for a name as she flumped onto the bed, diary in hand. Suddenly, she sat straight up, opened the diary and penciled on the inside cover, "To Hilda, for the past you never knew and the future you will never see." She turned to the first page and began to write.  
  
* * * *  
  
This is what I remember of my past. I was born at a laboratory, instead of a hospital. My surrogate mother, who was a kind and loving person, raised me as her own for the first five years of my life. I remember everything she said and what she taught me. She wasn't supposed to teach me anything of importance, but I secretly learned how to read and write from her. Then on my fifth birthday she packed me and my things into our car and drove me to the laboratory and left me. I didn't want to leave her, but no matter how I kicked and screamed and scratched the men holding me wouldn't let go. It was hard for my mom too, because she had tears in her eyes. Then one of the female laboratory students undressed me. The men came back and carried me into a room with nothing in it except for a large tube filled with some kind of liquid. We rode a rising platform up to the top.. One of the men opened the hatch that was the top of the tube and the others carried me there and threw me inside.  
  
I held my breath and tried to swim up to the top to get out, but the hatch was closed. I knew suddenly that when my air ran out I was going to die. After about thirty seconds, I had to breathe. I opened my mouth, I couldn't help myself. The goo which filled the tube oozed into my mouth, my nose, and in minutes it filled my lungs. I was so afraid, I didn't want to die, but after I felt the goo seep into my lungs, instead of suffocating, I felt refreshed and renewed, like taking a cold drink on a ninety degree day. I still didn't like the tube, or the way the gel felt in my lungs, but since I had no choice, I adjusted. Meals were served three times a day with two snacks between breakfast and lunch and lunch and dinner. I had to exercise every day for twenty minutes, usually I swam the length of my tube. It didn't sound like a lot of work, but the gel was so thick it was very difficult to swim at first. There was no television and no music, but a large library was programmed in after they discovered I could read. For many years, life was routine and peaceful. I woke up at 7:00 every morning and ate breakfast. When I sat on the hatch for meals, I always pretended I was the Little Mermaid sitting on a rock, I loved to read and that was one of my favorite books. After breakfast, I would take a series of tests and have a smack. Then I exercised in my tube and read a book which I projected into the tube. Next, I would climb out for lunch and more tests. As I read more I realized all the books were only made-up stories, but I still learned some things from them. I knew I wasn't an average person and that most people didn't have the lifestyle I had. Sometimes, during the tests I would ask about these things, but they ignored me so I stopped asking. Anyway, after the tests I had dinner and went to bed. At first, I curled up on my side to sleep in the tube, but now I just slept upright. Years passed quickly, and now the tube was my home, the safest place I knew. I could still remember the time I spent with my mom, but it seemed so long ago that I thought it was only a dream. I read all the books in the library, so now I watched the people working in the room I had been moved to. I noticed that the students wore street clothes, assistants wore blue, technicians wore red, and the scientists wore white. I saw that one man seemed to run the lab and called him "the old man." Once a year, a few people in brightly colored robes inspected the lab as well. Now I was too big to just swim in the tube, so I went to their built-in pool with an assistant every day to exercise.  
  
When I was thirteen, (I think, I stopped counting birthdays for a while.) I saw the blood floating in the gel. I couldn't understand where it came from, so I looked for any scrapes or cuts, but didn't find any. I rang the bell for help and almost immediately a female assistant came. I explained the situation to her and she understood, told me not to worry, and said she'd be right back. When she returned she was carrying a small box. She explained about the bleeding, when it would happen and why. She also gave me some things to make it stop and instructions on how to use them. She promised me that I after I exercised the blood would be gone and two boxes for the stoppers would be installed. When I came back it was clean and the boxes were there, one to take stoppers out of and one to put the used ones in. Life continued peacefully for a year, and then something horrible happened.  
  
It was my birthday, again, (I kept track as a little thing for myself,) and the day passed normally. But at about midnight, I heard a sharp rapping on the tube. It was one of the lab assistants. He said to me, "Come with me, the lab assistants are having a party for you." I was a little afraid, but the idea of a party excited me, and against my misgivings, I came. We went through the corridors for a long time, and I quickly lost my sense of direction. He gestured to a door, "This is where the party is being held. Ladies first." He opened the door and as I walked in, I saw the room was dark and when my eyes adjusted I saw mops, bucket, brooms. This wasn't right, I had to get out. I turned to come back, but he blocked the way and shut the door, "You're all mine, now." I froze with fear and didn't struggle. He put me on a cot and started doing things to me. I didn't see what he did, didn't want to know, to see his face leering over me. My frantic mind weighed the options. Could I escape? If I did, who would help me, who would believe me, what would he do if I did? If I cooperated, he would take me back. Why not, no one would ask questions. So, I stayed, huddled in a corner of my mind, trying desperately to shut it out, the fear, the horror, the shame, the pain. In the end, I lost and it filled me, became me, and it burned me and drowned me inside. And then, it was over and he took me back. My mind reeled and I cried myself into an uneasy sleep. This happened often now, week after week, I was only safe when the bleeding came. Now many would come to drag me out of the tube, wet, naked, utterly alone. Once, I told the old man about this, and he said it would stop and told the workers, but he had no real power. The only people who could enforce the decree were security guards and they were already in on it. I was locked into my own inner prison for three years, unable to feel anything but sadness. I was not angry, only sad that it happened.  
  
Then, one fairly normal day, which is to say I was completely miserable, the world I had known crashed down into insanity. Suddenly, sirens screamed, people ran to and fro, seemingly unable to follow the shouted directions over the PA system. I was in my tube then, so I felt safe, despite the chaos around me, the eye of the hurricane. I heard sounds of guns, far-off at first, but coming nearer. The door burst open in a blaze of light and a tall woman with an eyepatch rushed in. She saw me and whispered into the tube intercom, "Hello, I am Hilda and I want to take you away from here," she paused to shoot an incoming security guard, "but only if you want to go. I won't make you do anything you don't want to."  
  
Bursting with pent-up emotion, I almost screamed, "Take me away, please! I can't stand being here anymore!"  
  
"All right. Now, what's your name?"  
  
"Melfina."  
  
"Well, Melfina, there will be fighting and I don't want you hurt. I've brought this." She held up a suitcase. "This is a suspended animation device. When you go in here, you'll fall asleep and when I open it again you'll wake up safe and sound. A little cramped, I know, but any larger and it couldn't be carried." I stepped out of the tube and curled up inside. She closed the lid, "Sweet dreams, Melfina." I heard a faint hiss and fell asleep.  
  
* * * *  
  
I woke up in a hotel, Hilda standing over me. I lived with her about a month, borrowing her clothes to wear. She even taught me how to cook. As I lived with her I saw that her and me were opposites. Her rough demeanor hid a kind friend, while my passivity only concealed the troubled waters beneath. She understood when I told her what happened and helped my heal myself. Then, after breakfast April 2nd she told me about the trip. "Mel, you and I are going on a trip, so we can find a safer place for you and to get my other ship. I've hired some people to guard us, but I don't know them personally and I don't know if I can trust them with you. If you could go back into the suitcase, then you would be safe. It has a time lock so you won't be in there indefinitely. Will you go?"  
  
"Yes, I'll go and change now." I left the clothes in the hamper, and stepped into the unknown, once again as the top closed over me, but with a difference. Instead of "sweet dreams" she said, "Good luck, Mel."  
  
Author note: Now wasn't that fun! (Maiden of Twilight: Um…oookay then!) Anyway, please don't expect Chapter 2 too soon. I love procrastinating.  
  
The Maidens: Be sure to read the poems and stories by these great authors!!  
  
Maiden of Twilight,  
  
Maiden of Insanity,  
  
Dragon Maiden,  
  
and Fairy Maiden, 


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